Elected

I've had a troubling week to be sure. I can't put all of what I went through here because some of those whom it effected may stop by to read. I can tell you I've been at the peak of mania and through the valley of the manic, I've been revered as holy and shunned as unworthy, almost filling the emotional spectrum of which I am capable.

In the midst of this turmoil though, I did have one advantage. God was telling me the whole way what was going to happen next. I never went into a situation blind, and I knew the outcome of almost every situation.

I find this deeply disturbing.

Not because God is speaking to me, He speaks to everyone all the time. What bothers me is that I don't know if my choices both in prayer and action could have changed what was going to happen. And if they couldn't, was it because the people to whom I spoke had already determined their course of action, or was it a situation God had predestined?

I see highways as a sign that mankind is given a "free will". Monkeys share 98% of our DNA, yet they don't build highways. If you take mankind off the earth, and erase what he has changed, then the earth remains as it looked at creation. Of all the creatures, we alone are given authority to change things. Nature does what nature has always done, because nature is set something like a clock, mechanically plodding along at a predetermined course. But we are miracles, because we can change our course. We can jump the rails. We can defy nature, we can defy God Himself, just as Adam did.

But God knows what we are going to do. Every thing. All our decisions are laid out before Him.

Still working on this...